I drink Dr Pepper if I must
But there's some things about it I don't trust
I don't think I'd serve it to a friend
It's the kind of drink that nature didn't intend

Chocolate pepper, cherry pepper
Cherry vanilla chocolate pepper
Diet vanilla fusion pepper too
Hacking pepper, fracking pepper
The kind of pepper in pepper-spray pepper
Wouldn't you like a can of chemical stew?

I give Dr Pepper lots of flack
But everybody knows the guy's a quack
This doc is certainly not a real MD
Though he probably got an A in chemistry

Hear no pepper see no pepper
Wow- there seems to be no pepper
What are my freaking kidneys s'posed to do?
Hey you peppers if Dr Pepper
Actually contained some pepper
Would you still wanna be a pepper too?

Dr Pepper now with actual pepper
Pepper Pepper that'd make u thirsty
Dr Pepper he's not a doctor
Dr Pepper but he plays one in a bottle
Dr Pepper no relation to Sergeant Pepper